Saturday, February 11, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
What's the quote about you should pray on your knees more often, ummm yeah, something like that, I dunno but I just need to write how I'm feeling at this moment.
You just never know what the lady next to you at the light is going through or the gentleman walking his dog on the sidewalk. If we all had slate boards that we wore around our necks that had written on them just a couple of words that describe the shit you're going through would make you feel more compassionate toward your neighbor wherever you are. Just a couple of words is all. Some I know would be more shocking than others. Maybe just for the day your slate would read 'Stubbed Toe', or 'Calculus Final'. The lady next to you without makeup on and is a hot mess would read, 'New Parent'...ugh wasn't that the best and worst times I've had all wrapped up into one. Even happy events, 'Just Married' 'Preggers' 'New Car'...
Well today my slate would read, 'Dad has cancer'. Colon to be exact.
What is it about this word that scares the hell out of me...maybe the unknown. I know for myself it's because I know NOTHING about Cancer. I mean who the hell googles cancer...no one unless you're a freak or you need to know whether this word is about to rock your world more or less than you think. You need to google it so you can brace yourself for what's to come. Cancer I do know doesn't choose its victims. Just a random draw of 'who gets the short straw today...' Also I might add is I've never had someone in my family since like my great great great grandma have cancer so I've never really wanted to read about it, if that makes sense.
You now what else the cancer word makes me want to do. Get a colon cleanse, body scan, head scan, stomach scan, heart scan, limb scan, did I miss a scan. How about just a body scan altogether. Also only eat that green smoothie crap for the rest of my life, get off of anything fast food, stop eating meat, stop all snack runs to the local Chevron and cut out all soda in my life...alittle extreme, absolutely. Oh did I mention not eating food dye anymore and making sure I run 5 miles a day everyday until I'm saaaay 85 years old, that's a good number. (I have to giggle because I'm feeding Maddox Cheetos as I type...nice, way to start that healthy kick)
I think I've personally only known a couple people who've gone through CANCER. I feel like I have to put it in giant letter like THIS!
I vividly remember the day I was at work when my boss's wife had been diagnosed with CANCER, in I want to say 2008. What a crumby day. I say crumby because she'd describe it as crumby because she's such a nice, tender, spiritual, church going, did I mention nice, suuuper wonderful woman. I'm a pig face and would like to say every swear in the book, don't put it past me at the moment...ever actually, I'll always be a church going curser ;)
Cancer also makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs in anger but in the midst of screaming fall on my knees and pray to my Heavenly Father. It never fails to makes you feel better, every time. (I'm going to burn for cussing and talking about praying in the same post)
Well this is what I'm feeling, I usually don't write in sadness or anger. I'm a very happy person but I needed to just (pause)..........write.
Next week we find out what type of Cancer beast we're dealing with...off to say a little prayer(like the song off of My Best Friends Wedding, love that movie) apparently I'm a smart alec when I'm typing under emotions of upset/sad/mad, good for me ;D
Posted by Lindsay Henderson at 2:19 PM